Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. They were in love. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she sent for her. “Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act proves you are of sound mind. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.”
Edna replied, “He didn't do that. I hung him there myself, to dry. How soon can I go home?”
This week we are going to look at how the first disciples were devoted to fellowship with each other – in fact, to loving each other. Sometimes perhaps, real fellowship in the church might seem like love in a mental hospital – not quite what you bargained for. Even so, it is something those first disciples stuck with and persisted in, in the face of difficulty and adversity.
Acts 2:42 says they were devoted to fellowship. We've already said several times that this word “devoted” means to persist in something, to keep at it and stick to it consistently. The word for “fellowship” here is the Greek word, koinania. One good way to translate it might be, “close-knit community.” To put it simply, they worked hard at, and stuck with, living in genuine, honest, loving relationships with their fellow Christians. If their blueprint was REAL PRESENCE, REAL PEOPLE (or “real relationships”) and REAL PURPOSE, then this is primarily a part of “REAL PEOPLE.”
As I read through the book of Acts, I am always struck by how attractive that first church seems to be. They really loved each other, and were looking out for one another. Yet they definitely had their disputes. There were issues about how resources were to be used (Acts 6:1-7), about whether they should reach out to Gentiles, and, if so, how to do it (Acts 10-11 and 15), and there were even personality conflicts (Acts 15:36-41). In spite of these things, they all remained devoted to fellowship, and the overall picture we get is of a church that is not perfect, but where forgiveness and love abound, and the normal thing is to accept each other in spite of quirks and personality differences.
The New Testament is stuffed to the gills with verses and passages that urge Christians to look out for each other, to get along, to forgive each other, to bear one another's burdens, to help one another, to allow for each other's differences, and to avoid criticizing or judging each other over things that aren't essential. Jesus was the one who started it, saying in John 13:34-35
“I give you a new commandment: love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. 35 By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
I want to mention something here that is extremely important. Whom does Jesus say we are to love? Each other. What does he mean by that? He says it clearly – disciples loving other disciples. Now, he certainly doesn't say we should hate other people. But the focus of all the New Testament commands about love and fellowship, is on disciples of Jesus loving other disciples of Jesus. This is something far too many churches get backwards. Sometimes church groups are certainly willing to reach out and be kind to outsiders. But if you join the church, watch out! Then you are fair game for criticism, gossip and the rest. But that's not what Jesus commanded. I've met Christians who seem to believe that if they are harsh and critical about the church, then they will have more credibility with those who don't know Jesus. Yet, Jesus himself says the opposite thing. He doesn't say, “the world will know you are my disciples if you love them.” No. He says, “the world will know you are my disciples if you love each other.” Certainly that love is supposed to spill out to the rest of the world as well. But it only overflows effectively when it starts right here, as we are committed to loving community with each other.
Another way to define fellowship is “the practical results of Christians loving each other.” So how do we devote ourselves to it? Before I plunge in, let me say to our church, New Joy Fellowship, that we are already doing a lot of this. We could certainly be closer and better at Fellowship than we are; however we already have a solid foundation to build upon in this area. My point is, I'm not criticizing our church – I am encouraging and exhorting us to do even better.
One thing that is essential to true Christian Fellowship is commitment. True community cannot develop if church members are not committed to each other. This does not necessarily mean that everyone in a church is best friends with everyone else. It does mean however, that there is a devotion to Christian community. The first disciples persisted in Christian community, in spite of difficulties and different personalities. They had the overall understanding that they would be spending eternity together, and so they made an effort to start loving each other now. It was something they worked at.
In order for any depth of community or fellowship to develop, people need to feel safe to express what is really going on with them. And people will never feel safe enough, if they sense that others in the group are not committed to the community. A practical way to express our commitment to community is to place church and small group meetings among our highest priorities. When we let other things crowd out our time together, we are sending a message to the others in the church that they are not particularly important to us. What we do together as a church – both on Sunday morning, and in small groups and other places – can be life-changing for many people. Jesus said the world would recognize it. In respect for how important community is to growing in Jesus, we ought to make time with others in our church a high-priority, something we rarely miss. Of course, we don’t ask for “instant commitment” from visitors. And I don't mean that you ought to show up at absolutely every thing that people in the church having going on. However, if you have been attending regularly for a few months or more, and and you know Jesus, it ought to become a priority for you to meet on Sundays and in your small group.
Speaking of that, another important aspect of fellowship is participation in healthy small groups. As we proceed through Acts, we will see that every believer in New Testament times was part of a small group, and in fact, that small group is what they called “church.” The community and fellowship you can experience with five or ten other people in a small group is far more powerful than the community you can have with sixty or seventy people on Sunday morning. You simply can't really get to know someone if you only see them once a week, and then you only talk with them for five or ten minutes. But you can really get to know people, and love them in practical ways, if you spend a couple hours a week laughing, eating, praying, learning and working together.
That brings us to another factor. A very important expression of our Christian community is in the interactions we have with each other outside of what we typically call “church.” The most effective churches, the ones most likely to make disciples, are those in which significant interaction is not limited to Sunday morning church. When people eat together at other times, and share their hobbies, home improvement jobs and trials with others in the church, the community is strengthened. This in turn, pays dividends when they meet to worship together. Even a few phone calls during the week between meetings can go a long way. Remember, the attitude those first Christians had toward fellowship was one of devotion. They stuck with it. It was a priority.
True Christian community can sometimes be challenging. If you really get involved in the lives of others, you'll discover that everyone but you is weird, irritating, and has faults. You'll need to forgive others for hurting you, and accept others whom you might rather hang out to dry by their bathrobe belts. You might spend some late nights with folks who are really in need.
In spite of this, in my experience, Christian Fellowship is mainly a source of great joy. I have never laughed so hard as with my brothers and sisters in Jesus. There is no one I would rather play snap-uno with! Even in those times when we share sorrows, the burden is made lighter by the presence of the fellowship of believers. I have yet to get to know someone who was not worth getting to know. In my times of hardship, the community of believers has upheld and supported me, and I have been glad to do the same for others when the opportunity is there. The best thing is that there is no permanent goodbye, not even at death, within the Christian community. These relationships will last not just a lifetime, but an eternity. In fact, your relationships with other Christians (and with God, of course) are the only things you get to “take with you” when you die.
The apostle Paul, writing to the Thessalonians, describes Christian fellowship in this way:
We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the Gospel of God, but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. (1 Thessalonians 2:8)
It is my prayer that this kind of community will become, and will continue to be, a reality in New Joy Fellowship..
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